A Night Without Rest
January 25, 2026 Eve was over from the night before, but it wasn't a peaceful one for me. my mind wouldn't slow down, and I didn't fall asleep until nearly 7:00 a.m. When I wok up around 10:00, I had only managed about three hours of rest. That lack of sleep set the tone for the day—foggy, sensitive, and full of overthinking.
I tried to reconnect with Eve through affection that morning, hoping it would ground me a little, but she wasn't receptive. That only fed the spiral in my head. When you're already exhausted, even small momnts of distance can feel much heavier than they probably are.
A Complicated Afternoon
Later in the day, I took Eve hom and stayed there for a while. During that time, I found myself talking more with The Sister than with Eve, which in hindsight probably wasn't the best choice. I'm with Eve now, and even though I still care about The Sister, that care has shifted firmly into a frindship space.
I'm extremely loyal by nature, and I don't like creating situations that could be misread or cause unnecessary tension—especially jealousy. Still, the dynamic is complicated, and I need to be more aware of how my actions come across.
While there, The Sister showed me some of her interests, including her coin collection. She had a microscope with a screen attached and was examining coins up close. It was actually fascinating—details you'd never notice otherwise. At one point, their pet lizard, Lizzy, crawled under the microscope, and we ended up viewing her magnified on the screen. It was a strange but unexpectedly grounding moment.
Space and Silence
Eventually, I went home and spent most of the day not talking to Eve. I needed the space. The night before had left me unsettled, and I didn't want to pretend everything was fine when it wasn't. Silence isn't always avoidance—sometimes it's the only way to keep emotions from spilling out sideways.
An Honest Conversation
Later that night, I finally shared my concerns with Eve, honestly and directly. She shared hers too. One of her concerns hit hard but was completely valid: she was upset that I had shared something personal about her with The Sister.
She was right. That was a boundary I crossed, and I take responsibility for it. It may have been the first time I saw her genuinely upset with me, and I don't blame her. I was wrong.
Ending the Day Quietly
After talking, the intensity faded. Not everything was fixed, but the noise quieted. Sometimes that's the best you can hope for—not resolution, just calm.
We said goodnight to each other and went to bed, each carrying our own thoughts. It wasn't a perfect ending, but it was an honest one. And honesty, even when it stings, is still better than pretending.