Journal · Vulnerable

Carrying the Year to the Finish Line

Ending the year with noise, memories, and the relief of not facing it alone

Summary
As fireworks lit the sky, old memories surfaced—but so did unexpected support. A loud ending to the year softened by understanding, presence, and shared calm after the noise faded.
By A Work in Progress
Jan 1, 2026

A Day of Closing Loops

December 31, 2025—New Year's Eve—was quieter than it sounds, at least on the surface.

The day was filled with more cleaning and more writing. A lot of both. I spent hours organizing thoughts, finishing entries, and closing out pieces that had been sitting unfinished. It felt less like productivitiy and more like clearing mental space—making room before the year officially ended.

There was something grounding about it. Like tying loose ends before midnight.

Counting Down Before the Countdown

We had plans to pick up Eve and the girls around 4:00pm so they could stay the night and bring in the New Year with us.

In the meantime, Isabella and the girls asked—over and over—if we could go get them early. Easily twent times throughout the day. Each request felt like a small reminder of anticipation, impatience, and excitement all wrapped together.

By 3:30, we gave in.

Isabella and I got ready and headed out. I spent a little time at Eve's place before bringing everyone back to mine, where the familiar rhythm resumed—more noise, more movement, more mess.

More life.

Not Everyone Was Alone

I'd been quietly worried about Eve's mom spending New Year's Eve by herself, but it turned out she wasn't alone at all. The Sister and her son were there with her, which brought a sense of relief and I didn't realize I'd been holding onto.

Sometimes peace comes from knowing someone else showed up too.

Waiting for Midnight

As the evening settled, Eve and I watched The Hangover together. Nothing fancy—just a shared moment, the kind that doesn't need to be named to matter.

About fifteen minutes before midnight, I turned on the New Year's ball drop and called everyone into the living room. I poured Kool-Aid into cups for a toast—simple, kid-friendly, and sincere.

Isabella didn't make it. She'd already fallen asleep.

The girls stayed up, though, wide-eyed and excited, counting down the final seconds of the year.

When midnight hit, there was no shouting, no chaos—just quiet acknowledgement that we'd crossed into something new.

After the Noise Fades

It took about another hour to get the girls settled and asleep. By the time the house finally quieted down, it felt like the day had lasted far longer than twenty-four hours.

After that, it was just Eve and me.

We spent time listening to music, talking, and sitting in that soft, unguarded space that only seems to exist late at night when the world has gone still. Affection without urgency. Presence without expectation.

We didn't go to sleep until after 4:30am.

When the Fireworks Started

As midnight passed, the night didn't stay quiet.

Fireworks began going off nearby—loud, sudden, close enough to feel personal. For most people, they're celebration. For me, they still trigger something deeper. Between my brief time in the military—where gunshots were close and real—and growing up near Detroit, Michigan, where hearing gunfire wasn't unusual, those sounds fully lost their edge.

Fireworks still get to me.

My mother has always been terrified of them, which usually means I'm the one expected to take the kids out to watch. I don't think she realizes that while I can handle it, it isn't easy. The memories come fast. The tension hits before I can talk myself out of it.

This time, Eve noticed.

She saw the anxiety surface without me having to explain it. Without making it a moment, she stepped in—calmed me, grounded me, and then took the kids outside herself so they could enjoy the fireworks without it falling on me.

I stayed back and breathed.

It was a small thing. Quiet. But it mattered.

The Year Ends, With Support

After the fireworks faded and the kids eventually settled down, the house finally went still. Eve and I spent the late hours listening to music, talking, and sitting in that rare calm that only comes when everything else has gone quiet.

We didn't fall asleep until after 4:30am.

The year didn't end gently—but it ended with understanding. With someone noticing when I needed help instead of expecting me to push through.

And maybe that's what made the difference.

Some years end loudly.
Some end tired.
This one ended with someone standing beside me when the noise hit.

And for once, I didn't face it alone.

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#family dynamics #healing #reflection #relationships

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