The Assumption Comes Quickly
The most common assumption is a simple one:
That I'm lazy.
Because I work in technology.
Because I spend my days on a computer.
Because my work doesn't leave me physically exhausted or visibly dirty at the end of the day.
From the outside, it looks like comfort.
It looks like avoidance.
It looks like less effort.
That assumption misses almost everything.
Mental Labor Is Still Labor
Working in technology isn't passive.
It requires:
- Continuous learning
- Problem-solving that doesn't stop when the screen turns off
- Long stretches of focus with no immediate payoff
The exhaustion isn't physical in the way people expect—but it's real.
There are no visible calluses to point to.
Just mental strain, responsibility, and constant adaptation.
And despite the assumption, it isn't painless.
Sitting for hours comes with its own costs:
- Chronic back and shoulder pain
- Tight hips and nerve pain for limited movement
- The kind of physical discomfort that builds quietly over time
It's not dramatic.
It's persistent.
Different work leaves different marks—but they still leave marks.
Why Working from Home Was a Decision, Not a Shortcut
Choosing to work from home wasn't about convenience.
It waas math.
Babysittingg costs would:
- Consume most of the income from a traditional job
- Require longer hours just to break even
- Reduce presence while increasing stress
Working outside the home would have meant paying someone else to raise my children during the hours I was gone—while barely covering the cost.
That isn't ambition.
That's imbalance.
Presence Has Value Too
Hard work isn't measured only by distance traveled or weight lifted.
Sometimes it's measured by:
- Being available
- Being consistent
- Being there when something small actually matters
Presence doesn't show up on my pay stubs—but it shapes lives.
Choosing that doesn't make someone lazy.
It makes them intentional.
Why Support Matters Here
Support helps challenge the false equation that:
- physical labor = real work
- mental labor + presence = laziness
It helps validate a form of responsibility that often goes unseen—and helps make it sustainable without forcing false choices.
This Is Part of the Unfinished Story
This path doesn't photograph well.
It doesn't fit familiar narratives.
But it's grounded in responsibility, not avoidance.
And if support helps protect the ability to choose presence over perception—
then it's doing exactly what it's meant to do.
Thank You for Looking Deeper
If you support this work, you're choosing to see past surface assumptions—and acknowledge the full weight of responsibility that doesn't always look the way people expect.
That understanding matters more than approval ever could.