Journal · Reflective

Effort Over Convenience

Choosing effort, creating moments, and recognizing where care is truly returned

Summary
A day shaped by planning, small sacrifices, and intentional kindness—learning that showing up, even quietly, can mean more than grand gestures, and noticing where love begins to feel mutual.
By A Work in Progress
Dec 31, 2025

A Day Built With Intention

December 30, 2025 was Eve's mother's birthday.

The day before, I found out her husband wouldn't be home for it, and that detail stuck with me. Birthdays can feel quiet—and heavy—when the people you expect to be there aren't. I didn't want that to happen if I could help it.

So I decided to put real effort into the day.

I spent six hours creating a birthday video—custom music, family photos, moments stitched together carefully. Not because it was easy, and not because anyone asked me to. I did it because I believe effort carries more weight than a thoughtless gift. Time spent is love expressed.

Logistics, Compromises, and One Car

The day itself required some maneuvering.

My mother had an appointment at 1:30pm, and we only hve one vehicle. She also wanted me home for dinner, which complicated things. If I waited until she got back before leaving, there was no realistic way I'd make it back in time.

So I worked around it.

I arranged to borrow my cousin's car. At first, that was an issue—there was resistance to me using it "to go see a girl," as if the reason should matter more than the logistics. Ironically, it was my mother—who wanted me home for dinner—who helped convince them to let me use it.

Sometimes compromise arrives from unexpected places.

Making the Day Feel Like a Birthday

Once I had the car, Isabella and I headed over. I picked up Eve and dropped Isabella off so we could run a few errands together.

At Walmart, I grabbed a birthday cake and candles—three and one. Not thirty-one. Sixty-one. Even if she prefers to think otherwise.

I also picked up Pokémon Monopoly. I knew she collects Monopoly games, and I knew she likes Pokémon.  It felt like a thoughtful overlap—and surprisingly, it was the most affordable option there, which mattered since I'm actively trying to be careful with money.

I picked up pizza for the birthday too.

None of it was expected. That was the point.

We spent some time at the house, and I could tell the effort landed. It felt good to make someone feel seen—especially on a day that could've easily felt overlooked.

Coming Home (With Pizza)

I made it back home in time for dinner—technically.

I also came home with an entire pizza, which immediately changed the plan. My mother canceled whatever she had intended to cook, and dinner became pizza instead.

Unintentional solution.

I went to bed a little earlier than usual, but not before giving myself a small pizza party of my own. Three slices and some Italian cheese bread, Stranger Things playing quietly in the background.

It wasn't glamorous. It was comfortable.

Quiet Truths at the End of the Day

At some point that night, I opened up Emotionally to Eve—who is not naturally expressive in the same way I am.

I told her I miss her.
I told her I love her.

And I meant it.

I can feel myself falling for her. She gives me time. Attention. Presence. She looks for reasons to include me in her life. The kind of things I once asked for elsewhere and never received.

That contrast still confuses me.

I don't fully understand how I fell so hard, so fast, for someone who never really showed up for me. Someone who gave me very little to build love on. And yet—here I am, standing in something that feels more mutual, more grounded, more real.

Maybe love doesn't always begin where logic says it should.

But tonight, what mattered most ws this:

I showed up.
I gave effort.
And I ended the day knowing I did something meaningful.

Sometimes, that has to be enough.

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#boundaries #caregiving #emotional awareness #family dynamics

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